Thê Ãtømï¢ Þhrêäk

atomicphreak @ 2006-04-26T22:43:00

2006-04-26T21:43:16Z

Þótt ég talaði tungum manna og engla, en hefði ekki kærleika, væri ég hljómandi málmur eða hvellandi bjalla. Og þótt ég hefði spádómsgáfu, en hefði ekki kærleika, ég væri ekki neitt. Kærleikur trúir öllu. Kærleikur vonar allt. Kærleikur umber allt, og fellur aldrei úr gildi

I've now received this about a DOZEN times.

2006-03-26T00:07:25Z

hey everyone, i dont normally send this sort of stuff out but had a look on
the internet and its actually true . On the 1st of november , we will have
to pay for the use of our MSN and email accounts unless we send this message
to at least 18 contacts on your contact list. It's no joke if you don't
believe me then go to the site (

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/1189119.stm ) and see for

yourself.
Anyways once you've sent this message to at least 18 contacts , your msn
dude will become blue. please copy and paste don't forward cos people won't
take notice of it

Good GOD. People. If you're going to spam your contacts with this crap then at least READ THE PAGE THAT IT LINKS TO! So, let's look at the date for starters.

Sunday, 25 February, 2001, 11:00 GMT

That's 2001, kids. Five whole years ago. 1,825 days. 43,800 hours. 2,628,000 minutes. Getting the picture? Good. Now, let's scroll down the page and read some more.

Microsoft stresses that the site's core facilities including Hotmail will remain free.

Which strangely does not mean "Oh my God, Hotmail is going to start charging you without telling you and you're only going to find out via a badly-laid-out e-mail that your friends are going to spam you with, and you won't even get a blue icon like the e-mail says you will." Common mistake I guess.

EZSFV v1.1.2

2006-03-17T22:45:00Z

It is with pleasure I announce the release of EZSFV v1.1.2, an easy-to-use SFV checker for Windows. The changelog before v1.1.2 isn't specific, since I wasn't taking notes. But below is a summary of the functions up to this point:

Table view of all SFV file contents, along with expected checksums, actual checksums, and the file's status.
Detection of missing files.
Detection of zero-length files.
Detection of invalid checksums.
Overlooking of SFV lines with less than 10 characters (i.e. eight hex checksum characters, space separator and >0 filename length).
Overlooking of semi-colon comment lines.
Additional numeric display of SFV results, split into OK, Failed and Missing.
Progress bar and text-based status indicator.
High-speed CRC32 fingerprinting.

The plans for the next version are currently as follows:

File association and program file drag-drop linking, including option for a silent run with only end confirmation.
Exporting of text reports.

You can download the current version of EZSFV from the link below:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=RWCZWB7I

00001010 X 0x0A (pour Julie)

2006-03-15T20:50:33Z

<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
<Sabdo> and it typed out "France"
<Sabdo> we were like, wtf?
---
< Wombles> i rang up a taxi friday... drunk.. and in in a pirate accent.. i said "Yarr ahoy me maitie! i need me a row boat to take me back to me ship which is docked at <insert address>"
< Wombles> i cant believe one came.
---
<Billo3121> i need to douche my asscrack in the shower
<Billo3121> later dudes
* Billo3121 is now known as Billo|douching
<@trollusk> ... that's it. i'm done with irc.
---
<Kathleen> wtflolz
<Alex> lololorz
<Kevin> lol]
<Alex> haga
<Alex> 0wneef
<Kathleen> omg y3s.
<[X]> Is this some sort of idiot mating ritual? Should I get the Discovery Channel in here with cameras?
---
<DannyB> some religious girl on the street asked if i was saved yet
<DannyB> i told her i saved at the checkpoint a couple minutes back
<DannyB> and can reload from there if i die
<DannyB> she was confused
---
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?
---
seph429: lol 3 weeks ago someone posted a post on this board "I'm looking for some cool things macosx can do" hes bumped it every day since, today he posts
seph429: "OKAY I GET IT, THE OS SUCKS AND UR ALL FUCKS I HOPE YOU DIE"
---
prettykittikat: Im going 2 the club 2night
Syric 2005: im going 2 lern 2 tipe 2nite 2
prettykittikat: what?
Syric 2005: Exactly
---
<jimmie> while i was gone
<jimmie> my tivo recored lots of movies with cher in them
<jimmie> i'm not sure what to think
---
<Foxxz> my dixie wrecked
<DrYcElL> ???
<Foxxz> say it out loud
<DrYcElL> ????????????????????????????????/
<Foxxz> MY DIXIE WRECKED
<Foxxz> yell it
<DrYcElL> MY DIXIE WRECKED!!!!!!!!!
<Foxxz> nah dude, u gotta yell it rl
<DrYcElL> I did
<DrYcElL> my cuz looked at me funny
---
<xanex> xmms manages to skip about 90 songs in my playlist and keep playing the same 5 over and over
<xanex> its a new feature, they call it 'MTV mode'
---
TsK/Scel: i think im gonna download some porn
TsK/Scel: something ive never seen before tho
TsK/Scel: something...... different
Shane/Mehul: lol
Shane/Mehul: porn with women?
TsK/Scel: fuck you
---
<Knives> hey jiv
<Knives> do you know the 4 types of female orgasms?
* Jiv admits he does not
<Knives> Well, the first, is the Religious orgasm
<Knives> or the, Spiritual orgasm
<Knives> it goes something like this
<Knives> "Oh GOD! oh GOD!  OH OH OH GOD!"
<Knives> the 2nd, is the positive orgasm---" OH YES! OH YES! OH YES!"
<Knives> to which comes the third, the negative orgasm... "OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!"
<Knives> and then finally
<Knives> the fake orgasm
<Knives> "OH JIV! OH JIV!  OH OH JIV!"
<Hawk> lol
<Jiv> ....bitch
---
freezingplanet85: How long Is your robo wang?
SmarterChild: Very long.
freezingplanet85: Stupid bot.
---
<Bakazuki> Damn it, I don't care if mouth is going to hurt like a bitch during winter break (I've stated this before; I'm having my wisdom teeth pulled out), I just want it now!
<Jones> I will now take that quote out of context and spam it to people.
<Jones> [11:20:25 PM] Bakazuki: Damn it, I don't care if mouth is going to hurt like a bitch, I just want it now!
---
<meep> i hate the parents who go "does it wash off?"
<meep> i'm like wtf! of course it freaking washes off
<meep> it's face paint
<meep> no i am going to permanently mark your child to look like a cat.
---
<tumult> well that was like the coolest class period i've ever had
<lasombra> tumult ?
<tumult> this kid asks me for a dollar so he can get something from a vending machine
<tumult> i tell him i don't have one (truth)
<tumult> he says bullshit
<tumult> i tell him to fuck off
<tumult> he stands up and punches me in the face three times
<tumult> sits back down
<tumult> teacher doesn't notice/care
<tumult> so blood is pouring out onto my desk
<tumult> from my lip
<tumult> i turn to the girl next to me and say
<tumult> "hey, can i use one of the tissues jammed into your bra?"
<zyko^> what did she do?
<tumult> punched me in the face
---
<Lordb> me want to meet some women tonight
<godlike> me thinks women might like man more if man didn't talk like ape.
---
Rude: holy shit people take everything the wrong way.
Rude: I was having dinner, so when I get back to the comp my buddy asks what I was doing. so i told him, and he's like "oh yeah? that your code name for jacking off nowadays?"
Rude: then just now i was jacking off and someone asked what I was doing, so I told em i was jerking, and they're like "lmao, so what're you actually doing? making dinner or someshit?"
Rude: I'm just going to make shit up from now on :/
---
<Overlord> That just pooped into my head.
<Overlord> Ack, one of my worst typos.
---
* ogw is zooming along at 650
* ogw looks like that guy from the memorex commercials when he's sitting at his computer
<fo0bar> is it live?
<ogw> has anyone ripped that off yet?
<ogw> or have I just predicted the next Dell campaign
<ogw> "Is it dead?  Or is it Dell®?"
---
<orion`-`-> what the fuck
<orion`-`-> i think the icecream truck just hit a kid
<orion`-`-> brbrb
---
<Kaz> Let's tell scary stories!
<The_Karma_Police> Ok, I'll start.
<The_Karma_Police> There was this guy, and he was in the kitchen...OF DOOM!
<The_Karma_Police> And in that kitchen, he baked...THE PIE OF LOST SOULS!
<The_Karma_Police> And to cool that pie, he put it in...THE WINDOW TO HELL!
<Kaz> Ok, let's promise ourselves to never tell scary stories again...ever
---
<Ettin>  Because If sdib f
<Ettin>  FUCK
<Ettin>  I just fell out of my chair
---
<Schizo> I once knocked out a toddler with a door. Wasn't funny at the time, but it's hilarious now lol
<sleepbu> i almost frostbitereered my nuts last night :p
<sleepbu> since we're being honest
<sleepbu> it was a hot night
<sleepbu> bag was all hot and sweaty
<sleepbu> thought i'd try out my can of duster
<sleepbu> compressed gas :P
<sleepbu> little did i know that shit comes out as liquid if it's upside down
<sleepbu> drip drip *freeze* OMG WORLD OF PAIN WORLD OF PAIN WORLD OF PAIN
---
mdiym42: note to self
mdiym42: make sure your cat is not sleeping in the bass drum before you start playing them
---
<mindcrime> i er
<mindcrime> hung up with the pizza dude
<mindcrime> and i were like going to say "ah, lovely, thanks"
<mindcrime> and i er
<mindcrime> managed to say "I love you"
<mindcrime> he must think im a complete freak
---
(Bismarck) Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes!!!!
(Bismarck) France is going to house the new nuclear fusion reactor!
(Bismarck) If it suceeds, cheap long term energy. If it fails, BAM! France is gone!
(Bismarck) It's win win!
---
<Arendra> A smiley says a thousand words
<Arendra> :-)
*** Arendra has quit IRC (Excess Flood)
---
(pvah) i wonder how funny airport security would think it would be if you walked into an airport with a cardboard box that said "BOMB" on it
---
<silentpyjamas> heeehheeeh.  once my sister's former best friend was having a baby and she couldn't think of a name.  we walked past a coke machine and i said "how about dasani?"  how was i to know she'd totally take my advice?  i'm responsible for a kid being named after a coke product
---
<noddy> oops, i banned tgo last night and forgot to remove it :/
<Mortarion> yes you did
<noddy> sorry dude :*(
<The_Gifted_One> yeah, u whore :P
<noddy> :/
<Mortarion> am i gonna have to start checking the ban list when i get up every morning again?
<noddy> again!?
<Mortarion> yes, when i first gave you ops i'd have to check the banlist, usually you hadn't banned anyone in particular, you'd just filled it up with crap banmasks
<Mortarion> i got up one morning and like 40 countries had been banned
<The_Gifted_One> ROFL
---
<kai> dwi
<pancakguy> dealing with intent?
<Nosnam> lol, dealing with intent?
<Nosnam> Is it possible to deal without intent? SHIT OFFICER, I ACCIDENTLY SOLD SOME POT
---
<K|O|G|I> -- boss just gave me a list of things to do...
<K|O|G|I> #2) service computers (clean, oil, etc)
---
< plasmadis> One time my dad stole a roll of brightly-colored stickers from a butcher's counter that said "BREASTS" and went to the video store and stuck them on all the movies that looked likely to contain nudity.
---
(+[MO]GeX) James[UH] you got a GF ain't you ?
(@James[UH]) gf, geforce or girlfriend...
---
<Saber> I had a full can of soda
<Saber> and I slipped
<Saber> and dropped it above my KB
<Saber> and I caught it
<Saber> but THOUGHT it was upside down
<Saber> so I  inverted it
<Saber> and it turns out
<Saber> it was rightside up
---
[translated from German]
<MuschiExpress> kater are you there?
<KoolerKater> yeah
<MuschiExpress> What kind of spaz are you?
<KoolerKater> what's up?
<MuschiExpress> You were supposed to burn my holiday videos on DVD for my wife
<MuschiExpress> NOT your porn collection ffs
<KoolerKater> omg wait a minute... you said you wanted the holiday stuff and that porn
<MuschiExpress> Yes, but on TWO, in numbers, 2, you understand, TWO DVDs!!!
<KoolerKater> ...
---
<Nickster> Time for me to make some breakfast! :)
<Nickster> Is anyone from England? I have a question.
<Speck> Im from England and if your asking about english muffins Ill kick you.
<Nickster> nvm then.
---
<Musket> is there an echo in here?
<ManOfStuff> an echo in here?
<FessyBugger> in here?
<Kajifox> here?
---
<]RE[-NarcDog> damn thats a hard on...
<]RE[-NarcDog> one*
---
MrLauritson: I have concluded that M$ are a bunch of dirty bastards.
Kestral: Why's that?
MrLauritson: Basically I was talking to one of my female friends on MSN this morning.
MrLauritson: And she said "Well, it's Sunday so I'm going to go have a bath before starting one of those [essays]"
MrLauritson: Literally JUST as she says that, I get a message at the top of the screen telling me that we both have webcams and can have a video conversation o.O
---
( dogbert ) how do u do those action thingies?
( cams ) alt-f4
·· Quits: dogbert (client exited)
( cams ) ...
( mmmalice ) haha
( cams ) are you kidding me?
( Psy ) hahahaha
* dogbert has joined #pacult
( dogbert ) haha funny
( Psy ) It's alt f4
( Psy ) you hit alt f5
·· Quits: dogbert (client exited)
---
* Spoon casts Wall of Silence
*** Spoon sets mode: +m
<Goku> why?
<Spoon> Because exo went insane
<Goku> no, he just brought his insanity up to another level
* Sentinel checks..
*** Sentinel sets mode: -m
<exogen> THERE'S BUTTER ON MY FACE!
*** Sentinel sets mode: +m
---
<+PeterFA> I'm naked.
<+zinx> whoever invented text-only communication
<+zinx> ruled
---
<Freezer_Burn> how do i removed a burned in image from my monitor
<seamuso> buy a new monitor
<Freezer_Burn> i cant
<Kornchild> how did you burn an image into yoru monitor?
<Freezer_Burn> i set it to full screen at high brightness and fell asleep
<Freezer_Burn> there is a faint outline of a naked lady with her legs wide open showing her privates
<Freezer_Burn> and i i have to remove it before my mom comes home tomorrow night
<trance`> Freezer_Burn LMFAO
---
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
---
<Ksosez> i fucking hate ADD
<jesus_X> As in Attention
<jesus_X> Attention Deficit, something...
<Ksosez> Disorder
<jesus_X> What?
---
<S-Kicker> brb, gotta feed the dog
<S-Kicker> sum 31337 B1KK13Z N B175
---
<Sunny> Holy crap!
<Sunny> No wonder I'm always being stared at by the cat across the way
<Sunny> There are two of them!!!
<Sunny> They must have been taking shifts...
---
<King_Kane> So i open a can of pepsi max and i see on the side "Best Before: See base of can" so i turn the can around and i feel a cold chill running down my legs...
---
* Porter is now known as PorterWITHGIRLFRIENDWHOISHOT
<Strayed> he shot his girlfriend?
---
<fizzie> like there was this one day I took three grams of sugar and few litres of coke and some assorted lego mindstorm bits and made sense out of them
<DiamonDie> fizzie: i read "and i snorted lego mindstorm bits"
---
* niki-luv waves
* s_ surfs niki
---
(juslooken) i looked at the bouncer and said 'u dont need to see my id'
(juslooken) and he said 'i dont need to see your id'
(juslooken) it was very jedi
---
<Total_Phreax0r> -LagServ- Your ping request will be considered and might be returned in January 2003
---
* MechaDragonX shoots himself
* MechaDragonX relaizes he doens't have a gun and just tried to kill himself with a ham sandwhich
---
<tom_0369> man
<tom_0369> im never moving to seatle washington
<tom_0369> i flew over it and it was raining and gray as fuck
<tom_0369> it was depressing
<sammich> when was this?
<tom_0369> flight simluator 2004
---
<zN|nJa> I wonder how tough the recruiting for suicide bomber school is
<zN|nJa> 'now watch closely because I'm only gonna do this once'
---
<I|O> goin off to college
<I|O> mom got me a dehumidifer
<I|O> dad got me a humidifier
<xiao> stick em in yer room for a night. let them fight it out
---
silic0nsilence: So it's black friday at CompUSA.
Slider: Yea
silic0nsilence: We were to open up at 12am. It's 11:58pm and there is a HUGE line of blood-thirsty, hard drive-wanting, maniacs. So my friend dares me to scream we have one xbox360.
Slider: Holy shit.
silic0nsilence: So he gives me $20. I go up to the gate and scream, "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE HAVE JUST RECIEVED ONE XBOX360!!" Immediatly people are storming the gate, passing me money through the cage to get it. They were screaming and knocked over this old lady. My boss just looks at me with these red eyes. In them, I saw fear and rage.
Slider: Omg you dumb shit!
Slider: Wait a second, it's 12:46A, and it's black Friday. What did this happen minutes ago? Shouldn't you be at work?
silic0nsilence: Yeah..
silic0nsilence: Pretty sure I don't work at CompUSA any more..
---
< ispiked> I really hate how these ads have girls in them with their locations based on your ip address.
< ispiked> the same girls live in raleigh and in winston-salem, apparently.
< shaldannon> lol
< shaldannon> they ...uh.... get around
---
<Serpentor> My sister has this one friend of hers (who's 19 about to turn 20).. goddamit the girl is the cutest thing .. (her friend, not my sister you fucking pervert). Whenever I see her I want to fucking beat off (again, the friend, not my fucking sister you misinterpretter)
<PainBreak> i think Serpentor has a guilty conscience
---
[ron`] Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll fuck you with a rake
---
<Nichole> at what point do you cross that line from "seeing someone" to "boyfriend/girlfriend" status
<RobbiePaul> After he starts hitting you
<Nichole> fist or open handed?
---
<spree> i wish i had a southern accent
<shy> gday mate
<videogameaholic> not that southern
<shy> hola amigo
<videogameaholic> getting closer
<shy> howdy yall
<videogameaholic> close enough
---
<Alcaron> You should set yourself up a webcam. I don't know why, but I get this feeling we'll catch you doing something stupid. :)
<Longi> Alcaron: thats exactly the reason i wont set one up, the high probablity of me doing someone extremely embarassing
<Longi> err?
<Longi> THING
<Longi> someTHING!
---
<randomguy99> What's a guy (like me) got to do to get +h or higher around here?
<PPN[fp]> send cash
<PPN[fp]> :D
<randomguy99> Can't I just sleep with someone?
<PPN[fp]> all the ops are male
* randomguy99 is now known as randomchick99
<randomchick99> not a problem
---
<DotSPF> man, my mate is a complete div.
<DotSPF> he asked for my help coz he'd forgotten his hotmail password - I go round to see if he's put in a secret question so I can resurrect his account.
<DotSPF> what a prick
<DotSPF> his secret question was 'what is my password'
<DotSPF> i'm gonna go out and see if I can find him a cheap iMac
---
<PoPsI>Today in english, my teacher asked us to write down one thing we regretted or wondered what would've happened if we had done something else.
<PoPsI>After that, he asked us to share some and he picked me.
<PoPsI>He's like "What did you write down?" and i say "I wonder what would've happened if i had taken the red pill..."
<PoPsI>Then everyone stared at me...it was hella funny.
---
<@Beramode> nall?
<+Nall> Huh?
<@Beramode> are you outside my apartment?
<@Beramode> it sounds like someone's raping a duck out there, but i don't wanna look, so i had to ask.
<+Nall> ...Are you room 7F?
<@Beramode> maybe..
<@Beramode> are you raping a duck?
<+Nall> maybe..
---
<+TlMMAH> hey gary
<+TlMMAH> what is porno that i should download
<+TlMMAH> i am putting my dick into your hands here
<+TlMMAH> not literally but, you know
---
<perlplexer> perldoc .eh
<perldoc> .eh is western sahara
<perlplexer> hmm, i was expecting Canada
<deus> unfortunately no registrar exists for .eh
<deus> or i would get aboot.eh
<deus> and start irc'ing in #ontario and #vancouver from what.is.this.all.aboot.eh
---
<Guest1087> shut up asshole
<Pikanyah> If I'm an asshole, you're an asswipe. You're so low, you serve me.
<Guest1087> shup up bitch, i'm the asshole
<Guest1087> wait a sec....
---
<ding0> ahahahahaahahahahah i was just taking a huge piss and my mom says from behind me "wow jack! your getting big", i was like, OH MY GOD wtf, and then i finished and turned around and she was looking at the size on my shoes, whew!!
---
<Ownage|Josh[Owner]> Here's your 1st hint: audre_ _______
<jaGuar> !next
<san`> audrey hepbourn
<Ownage|Josh[Owner]> Winner: san` Answer: audrey hepburn Time: 12.219 Streak: 1 Points: 12 WPM: 13 Rank: 7th
<aenima> !
<jaGuar> wtf
<Ownage|Josh[Owner]> 48.  Category: Trivia : What is the square root of -1?
<aenima> googled >.<
<san`> close enough i suppose
<Ownage|Josh[Owner]> Winner: san` Answer: i Time: 1.532 Streak: 2 Points: 13 WPM: 7 Rank: 7th
<san`> WHAT
---
*** Radio_Star has quit IRC (Killed by (Video (Har har)))
---
<Indiana> What's a cuntwaffle?
<Indiana> Ah, never mind, I'll ask my mom when she comes on. She knows everything about cooking and food.
---
<eva> you ever notice that you dont sneeze when you pee?
<Rivorus> i actually sneezed while peeing just the other day
<Rivorus> and i was thinking about how people say that
<eva> Rivorus/ well did you BLOW your ASSHOLE OUT?
<Rivorus> the pee went all over my roommate's face
<Rivorus> I mean the toilet seat.
* Rivorus coughs
<eva> ...
---
<mustafa12> Ya, in 9th grade I was reading some background history on a poem out loud to the class and the poem was written in 1337, me being the cool social butterfly that I am, I read it as "leet"
---
<Locke|Away> I found a note in one of my old word .docs that said Note to self: Get revenge on Valvados.
<Locke|Away> Except I couldn't remember what I was supposed to get revenge for.
<Locke|Away> But I trusted my own judgment, so I went with it.
<Valvados> ...
<Valvados> o.o
<Valvados> hmm
<Valvados> i dunno what you were supposed to get revenge for, either
<Locke|Away> I can only assume you got what was coming to you.  Not 100 percent sure, though.
<Valvados> well, whatever i did, i guess i deserved it
<Locke|Away> Let that possibly be a lesson to you.
---
<claybats|work> yay, now it says wb to everyone on my users list :)
* placido|working has left #MTFN
* placido|working has joined #MTFN
<claybats|work> wb placido|working
<placido|working> wb placido|working
<claybats|work> see?
<placido|working> Thanks claybats.... didn't know you cared. :D
<Cancel_Man> he doesn't- that's why he made a script that does
---
<davo0o> My girlfriend has been playing hard to get lately.
<lex> Did you inflate her with helium this time?
---
<Fireslide> next person to talk after his line will be kicked :)
<Fireslide> *this
* Fireslide was kicked by Fireslide (12<61912>)
---
* Sinbad changes topic to '15000 atheists in London rioted after a blank sheet of paper was found on a cartoonist's desk'
---
<@Goshin> thereslike
<@Goshin> halfacookieunderneathmyspacebar
---
<Volt9000> here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat person on the street: if you're approaching them from the front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going "woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!"
---
<Dogan> man, my english class this year is so sweet
<Dogan> there was this quick write on the civil rights movement yesterday
<Dogan> couldn't think of anything else, so i just ended with "In conclusion, all your base are belong to us."
<Dogan> she just wrote "Rephrase?", and gave me 30/30
---
<Guest56750> Hi how do you change your name?
<Guest56750> iam new to mirc
<Guest69> type "/nick nickname"
*** Guest56750 is now known as nickname
---
<Everdarkgreen> WE DID THE MASH
<Everdarkgreen> we did the keyboard mash
<Everdarkgreen> THE KEYBOARD MASH
<Everdarkgreen> it was a lihosdptjhskrjngiso;kihy,aehtptuyjgio;t
---
<tdo> i was helping my tech teacher out a few days in july or so
<tdo> and i got some calls
<tdo> from potential customers
<tdo> and one of them was this little boy who couldn't have been more than six or seven
<tdo> and he was almost in TEARS
<tdo> "everything i type is in caps what do i do my moms goinng to kill me"
---
<TittiesMcEarmuffs> ( . )^_^( . )
---
<karhu> hey, I want to analyse my mail logs with a shell script.
<Slayer99> Okay, you have our permission to do so.
---
<broox> so my speakers haven't beeen working for a while
<broox> they were plugged into the mic port
<npl> umm, i think they are color-coded
<broox> haha, i know
<broox> i usually just reach back there and guess which hole it is
* npl has set the topic on channel #cell6 to <broox> i usually just reach back there and guess which hole it is
---
* @Death-Blade wishes hotmail would be smart enough to block any email addresses with painfully obviously invalid domain names
<@Death-Blade> assadfds@ajkdjsas.ase most certainly qualifies as such
<Sinclair-> oh shit i know that guy!
---
<pihlopase> Jesus Saves
<jbroome> pases to moses, SCOOOOORE
---
<hajakinXL> brb
<nfinite|p1astik> kk
<hajakinXL> what!? You racist bitch!
<hajakinXL> I know you spelt 'kkk' wrong!
<nfinite|p1astik> wtf
<nfinite|p1astik> you gook motherfucker
<hajakinXL> Fuck you honky!
<nfinite|p1astik> im spic, you retarded fuck
<hajakinXL> Shut it, FOB!!
<nfinite|p1astik> you UNEDUCATED shit trap, i crossed a fucking river, not a big ass ocean
<hajakinXL> You're still a nasty slut
<hajakinXL> Fuck you. I'm outta here
<nfinite|p1astik> you off to talk to manny?
<hajakinXL> Yeah. He was going to help me get Samba up and going.
<nfinite|p1astik> ok, i'll pick you up in about 30?
<hajakinXL> Sounds good.
---
<Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
<Thunder> wait
<Thunder> why u guys always say pr0n instead of porn ??
Thunder has been kicked by Guardian (No porn on this channel !)
<Cobra> ...
<Cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
---
<atomicphr> correction noted.
<atomicphr> and this just poopped into my head
<atomicphr> waiit what?
<atomicphr> wait*
<atomicphr> poppee**
<atomicphr> oh GOD
<atomicphr> popped*****
<MikkyX> roflcopter
---
<Ab0mination> I sleep on a bunk bed yeah, which is only accessbile by a ladder and last night I must've been dreaming or something because I woke up screaming about my ladder being taken off my bed so I couldn't get down
<Ab0mination> And I dreamt that there was a badger sleeping at the end of the bed
<Ab0mination> So in sheer terror I jumped from my bunkbed down onto the floor at 3am.
<Ab0mination> I've now got to go to the vet to get my cat checked out because I landed right on him as he was sleeping on my floor and squashed him. (he's a deaf fuckwit)
<Ab0mination> My parents and sisters are not speaking to me.
<Ab0mination> Because they found me kneeling down beside the limp cat yelling manically at it and waggling my fingers at it like the Borg of Star Trek do.
<Ab0mination> Apparently I was screaming: "I am Locutus of Borg. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile".
---
< smith> right, I just opened the yellow pages at random to the "scaffolding" page
< smith> and there's an advert saying "ENSURE YOUR NEXT ERECTION IS IN SAFE HANDS"
---
<[mahn]jooce> I was expecting coke when I drank urine
<[mahn]jooce> and
<[mahn]jooce> it took me like 5 seconds to figure out what it was
<Kitsa> lol
<Kitsa> I'm sure the Coke company would be thrilled to hear it took so long
---
<Leitari> omg
<Leitari> king kong is long
<Leitari> ^^
<Leitari> my ass hurts
<Leitari> wait
<Leitari> that didnt sound right
---
<Conflict> my girlfriend tattooed this guy's dick last week and when i came home i was like "how'd the tattoo go?" and she goes "fine, except that I needed both hands so I had to hold his cock in my mouth." i was like "thats ni-you whaaa?!??"
---
<Kitsa> heh, you want to see something funny, closed-caption the news.
<Kitsa> "twenty people were taken to the emergency room after touching debris"
<Kitsa> translates to
<Kitsa> "twently people were taken to emerge in see room after touching the brie."
<Kitsa> the deaf must think we're insane.
---
<MpTaNk> today, somthing on TV was going in slow motion, and my first reaction was "Damnit, the tv is lagging"
---
<Farrod> One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung."
<Farrod> I calmly replied, "I am. That's why she cuts the grass.
---
[Rascal] : Well, fuck angelicon, he's weird
[@Unknown_Source] : Dogs are weird and dumb
[@djjason] : Agreed
[@Unknown_Source] : I mean, wave the biscuit, and the dumbass dogs comes
* Unknown_Source waves a biscuit
[Join (#afterhoursdjs)] : [DJAngelicon]
[@Unknown_Source] : ...
---
--- [signoff!#windowmaker] NinjaCodr (wife getting naked)
---
<RuleR-> jesus christ, i farted so loud my dog ran away from my room
---
<+Quantsini> when i say the word "ramen" what words come to mind?
* Ikari has joined #STNJ
<@[Polynomial]> instant
<ph4tkid> ninja
<+Zanshi> porn
<Ikari> instant ninja porn?!?! WHERE???!?!
<+Quantsini> ...
---
pAtRiCkAaRoN06: DUDE..you know what we r gonna name our band?
Jahwarrior06: what?
pAtRiCkAaRoN06: "the big glove"
Jahwarrior06: the big glove? wtf?
pAtRiCkAaRoN06: yea...that way when we get done playing and the PA dude comes up there he can say "let's have a big hand for The Big Glove"
---
Sefy89: God my mom wont stop yelling
Dested: wat did u do this time?
Sefy89: i called her a lazy bitch and told her to get up and do some work
Dested: ...doesnt your mom have a broken leg?
Sefy89: thus the noise
---
<Darth-Phenom> But the SNES was only good for its games, much like the PSX
<Pedgey> Well what else you gonna use it for? Making toast?!!?!
---
(cyber1|t0) anyone know how i can open up pm's without a mouse pm me now
(cyber1|t0) actually dont pm
---
<GodsJiva> cloning should be allowed!
<f0dder> cloning is bad
<f0dder> cause there's too many errors
<GodsJiva> but... if they dont practise, there will always be errors!
<f0dder> just stick to animals at least
<GodsJiva> yeah, to start with
<Koding_W> aye. stick to animals.
<Koding_W> thats my motto.
---
<Goatroper> so i had a checkup at the doctor a couple months ago
<Goatroper> i waited in the goddamn lobby for like 2 hours
<Goatroper> i was just starting to doze off when they called me back into one of the exam rooms
<Goatroper> so i sit on this chair for like 30 more mins, and then fall asleep
<Goatroper> i wake up and have no idea what time it is or how long i've been waiting
<Goatroper> so 20 minutes later after I finished reading the Hispanic Business Weekly
<Goatroper> I start diggin through the drawers in the exam table and his desk drawer
<Goatroper> i find some hypos and don't touch them, some dressing gowns, and then i get to the drawer marked "OB/GYN"
<Goatroper> i open it up, take a peeky-peek inside, and what do I see? Speculums and rectal dilators.
<Goatroper> At this point I'm in his desk rolly-chair
<Goatroper> with about 40 rubber gloves in my pockets for later use
<Goatroper> so I grab a speculum in each hand
<Goatroper> and start making them sing and talk like little ducks
<Goatroper> i was rooting around for a sharpie and couldn't find one
<Goatroper> so i put them down and did my glove-trick
<Goatroper> i stretched a rubber glove over my head and blew it up
<Goatroper> then i grabbbed the speculums and started spinning around in his chair
<Goatroper> glove inflated on my head the size of two basketballs
<Goatroper> speculum in each hand
<Goatroper> spinning in his office chair
<Goatroper> i hear footsteps and as i'm extending my legs to slow down, the door opens
<Goatroper> the doctor is standing there with my chart in his hand
<kr0nus> omg
<Goatroper> i stopped spinning and just sat there, looking at him through the thin film of the glove
<Goatroper> he was like "Corey.....?"
<Goatroper> I said "Yep."
<Goatroper> held up the speculums.
<Goatroper> said, "I got bored."
<Goatroper> and he was like "That's quite a trick with those gloves. Where did you learn that?"
<Goatroper> I said "Many doctor's offices in many states."
<Goatroper> He was like "You want to take some with you?" as I got up
<Goatroper> I pulled the wad out of my pocket and said "Already did."
<Goatroper> then I walked out and i heard him laughing like a goddamn maniac as soon as the door was closed

Oh BABY!

2006-03-09T16:02:29Z

Giggidy-giggidy-giggidy!

Journal entry actually talking about stuff coming soon, honest. No, really.

When I get where I'm going...

2006-02-12T22:54:33Z

When I get where I'm going
On the far side of the sky
The first thing that I'm gonna do
Is spread my wings and fly

I'm gonna land beside a lion
And run my fingers through his mane
Or I might find out what it's like
To ride a drop of rain

Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy
And he'll match me step for step
And I'll tell him how I missed him
Every minute since he left
And then I'll hug his neck...

Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
I will shed the sins and struggles
I have carried all these years
And I'll leave my heart wide open
I will love and have no fear
Yeah when I get where I'm going
Don't cry for me down here

So much pain and so much darkness
In this world we stumble through
All these questions I can't answer
So much work to do

But when I get where I'm going
And I see my maker's face
I'll stand forever in the light
Of His amazing grace

Yeah when I get where I'm going
There'll be only happy tears
Hallelujah
I will love and have no fear
When I get where I'm going

Yeah when I get where I'm going...

We miss you Chris!

2006-02-03T17:04:12Z

The full Garth Brooks song from the CMAs.

http://www.richiebrown.net/musicvideo/richie/grclive.wmv

NASA Day of Remembrance

2006-01-27T21:43:07Z

"The astronauts who lost their lives serve as an inspiration for us all. None of them would have wanted to give his or her life in vain. None would have wanted us to stop striving for the stars. If anything, we must continue to preserve their dreams."

"We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them... as they prepared for the journey and waved goodbye, and slipped the surly bonds of Earth to touch the face of God."

Sic itur ad astra. Thus you shall go to the stars.

atomicphreak @ 2006-01-16T21:30:00

2006-01-16T21:38:08Z

Tempted and tried we're oft made to wonder
Why it should be thus all the day long
While there are others living about us
Never molested though in the wrong

Well farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine
We'll understand it all by and by

When death has come and taken our loved ones
It leaves our home so lonely and drear
And then do we wonder why others prosper
Living so wicked year after year

Well farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine
We'll understand it all by and by

When we see Jesus comin' in glory
When he comes down from his home in the sky
Then we shall meet him in that bright mansion
We'll understand it all by and by

Well farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brothers live in the sunshine
We'll understand it all by and by

Yeah we'll understand it all by and by

Oh I love annoying chavs

2005-12-20T15:23:24Z

Okay, this person randomly adds me to MSN. I was already tired and not in the mood for messing around.

them: hi
them: HUS THIS
me: you added me, you tell me who you are
them: WHERE U FROM, NEWCASTLE? [the ? was an animated one with 'i asked you a question, mother fucker']
me: noyfb
me: now, who are you?
me: and is it really necessary to consistently type in capitals?
them: FUCK U ASS LICKER
me: well ok, goodbye. wait.. no, good luck. i think with that attitude and mental capacity you'll need it

Quite bizarre.

Had to be done

2005-12-16T17:09:47Z

atomicphreak @ 2005-12-13T00:45:00

2005-12-13T00:45:18Z

Latest BBC report on the blaze at the fuel depot. Full five minutes from tonight.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/avdb/news_web/video/9012da68002e708/bb/09012da68002e9d1_16x9_bb.asx

Bloody hell.

2005-12-11T23:34:32Z

Massive explosions have ripped through a British fuel depot north of London, spewing out huge fireballs and thick black smoke in what officials say could be the biggest fire in peacetime Europe.

Police reported that 43 people were hurt in what appeared to be an accident at the Buncefield depot near the town of Hemel Hempstead, about 40 kilometres northwest of London just, after 6 am (0600 GMT) on Sunday.

Witnesses described a series of massive explosions shooting flames hundreds of metres into the air followed by a huge plume of billowing smoke.

-SBS News

There are reports of the explosion being heard as far away as Holland.

Videos (paste into Windows Media Player's File -> Open URL):
mms://wm.bbc.net.uk/news/media/avdb/news_web/video/9012da68002e708/bb/09012da68002e933_16x9_bb.wmv
and
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/avdb/news_web/video/9012da68002e708/bb/09012da68002e936_16x9_bb.asx

Image from Meteosat courtesy Eumetsat:

atomicphreak @ 2005-12-06T16:33:00

2005-12-06T16:33:30Z

Okay, so whoever accessed my site through the at.tf portal recently would've noticed it redirected to a muslim extremist page. Portland was hacked, it seems. Original page is at http://atomicphreak.p6.org.uk if you want to see. Problem is sorted; AlpenNIC has been updated.

Oh. My. Gawd.

2005-11-29T22:43:45Z

Okay, the past two days have been the weirdest in a long time. People with the 'eww' tendency, you may wish to reconsider reading this.

So I've been feeling sick and I got booked in for a Barium meal, blah blah blah. So yesterday comes around. I have to take the preparation mixture for the appointment the next day. I get home from school, and find the sachet they sent me in the post. I think at this point you should be shown the rather funny warnings it came with:

If you currently have an inclination as to what this stuff does, you're most probably correct. Anyway, so I got home from school yesterday and mixed this stuff together. It didn't just get hot, it bubbled and fizzed too, which is not something you wanna see and hear when you're about to drink it. But I did drink it, cos I is 'ard. Nothing happened. Until 11pm. The rest is up to you. (Yes I know you just found that either hilarious or disgusting, but that's why I'm here, to humour or disgust. :-P)

So anyway, having not been able to eat since lunch time yesterday, I woke up starving. Good way to temporarily stop you feeling hungry is a bit of water, then I remember I can't drink on the morning of the appointment. Bleh. So anyway, I end up at the hospital at just after 9am. Seeing I was expecting (choice of word explained later) x-rays, I was assuming I'd be able to wear my normal clothes, since x-rays aren't particularly picky about travelling through navy-blue t-shirts. Instead I had to change into a hospital gown. A nice blue-white stripey thing with a lettered gown underneath. Funkay.

Then I have to take the Barium mixture. Now I, for some reason, pictured a little plastic cup like you have cough medicine in. I was wrong. Instead, I got one of these, FULL of one of the most disgusting suspensions ever known to man.

(for reference, it's about 15cm tall)

So after almost puking with each mouthful, I have to sit there for 20 minutes to let it stick to my insides. Then I got called into the scan room, and there's a machine that was part-MRI machine, part-X-ray machine. Hence the loose term earlier, because I don't actually know what I was scanned WITH. The machine had a full-length vertical runner, and a two-thirds-length circular runner around the bed so it could be moved by computer, etc. The emitter itself was plastic (not metal like x-ray machines) and circular with approximately 30cm diameter. There were no x-ray plates either, the images were on-screen. The detail is included there in case someone knows what the heck I was actually scanned with and would like to tell me.

EDIT: Rob told me it was a fluoroscope, so that's that sorted. Ta Rob :-D

So, three images on my back to check the location of the mixture, then on my front. Strangest thing is that I was poked with a wooden spoon. Because out of all the scientific implements they could lay their hands on, a wooden spoon is the most efficient for separating your insides out. At one point he said he was going to have to press quite firmly, and he wasn't joking. He pressed so hard on one side that the other side of my body involuntarily lifted up. At the same time he caught a nerve near my hip. Ouch.

So after all that, he tells me he can't see anything immediately wrong, but will take a closer look and get the results back to my doctor's within 7 to 10 days. So I'm free to go home, and more importantly, free to eat. First thing I went for when I got home? Chocolate of course. Wooo!

Signing off. Or something.

Let me hear a w00t!

2005-11-26T19:08:57Z

Pictures speak louder than words... okay, some need words of explanation.

2005-11-23T20:58:50Z

Look what came in the post today, pt. 3:

Look what came in the post today, pt. 4:

Yes, I did randomly get 50 teabags, 50 instant coffee packs, 25 flyers and 25 posters (not pictured) in the post.

Hooray for (really) old printer working on Windows XP!

Look what I found rummaging about in the tech boxes (yes, we literally have boxes of lots of old equipment):

2.1GB hard drive, still working perfectly. It actually now has Windows XP on it for diagnostics. I guess that's Western Digital reliability for ya :-P

Look what came in the post today, pt. 2

2005-11-19T14:02:57Z

Bahahahaha

2005-11-13T13:22:25Z

This kept me amused for some time.

http://thepiratebay.org/legal.php

atomicphreak @ 2005-11-12T00:48:00

2005-11-12T00:57:59Z

Wow. Later With Jools Holland finished about 10 minutes ago. Sigur Rós were absolutely amazing. They did Hoppípolla and Með Blóðnasir one after the other, and it was very beautiful. I taped it (hopefully - I set it up, at least) on the HD recorder, so I should be able to make a decent MP3 of it. The other artists were good, too. Cheryl Crow did a great solo piano version of one of her songs, and with the Beeb having all their orchestral-type music experience, they made it sound even better. Santana were pretty good, too. Should really look into their stuff. All for now!

atomicphreak @ 2005-11-08T21:17:00

2005-11-08T21:17:43Z

I met a guy on the red eye.
He spotted my guitar
and said 'what do you do?'
I said, 'I sing for a living;
country music mixed with
a little rock and a little blues.'
He said 'I'm sorry,
but I've never been crazy
'bout that twang and trains and hillbilly thing.
What ever made you want to sing stuff like that?'
I just looked at him and laughed and said

'Cause it's songs about me
and who I am.
Songs about loving, and living,
and good hearted women, and family and God.
Yeah they're all just
songs about me,
songs about me.'

So I offered him tickets,
I said 'you'll see what I mean
if you show up tonight.'
He said 'I doubt you'll change my opinion.
I'll be kind of busy, but hey man, I'll try.'

Then later on when we finished our songs
about scars and cars and broken hearts,
I saw him. He was standing there
right next to the stage,
and he shouted
'Man you were right!
It was like you sang those

songs about me
and who I am.
Songs about loving, and living,
and good hearted women, and family and God.
Yeah they're all just
songs about me,
songs about me.'

So I'll just keep on singing
till I hear the whole world singing those

songs about me
and who I am.
Songs about loving, and living,
and good hearted women, and family and God.
Yeah they're all just
songs about me,
songs about me.

The current situation...

2005-10-27T19:57:16Z

Okay, most of you know I've been ill for some time now. Been feeling sick to varying degrees every few days for about the past five months. I went to see a specialist two days ago at Llandough hospital. I WENT to see him, but instead got some Asian guy that didn't seem very enthusiastic, couldn't really speak English, and didn't even suggest things that could be wrong. Instead I had to have five viles of blood (the large size viles, not the normal size ones) taken (I have the mark to prove it, owwee) and I'm going to be given a Barium meal at some point in the near future.

In addition to that, I've been feeling dizzy every day for the past two weeks. It started as quick as you can click your finger in the evening when I was just sat down. I'd mentioned it to the 'specialist' (loose term) when I went, but all he did was write it on the continuation sheet and grunt something which I interpreted as an acknowledgement. So today I went to see the doctor about it. She did the usual tests like 'follow my finger' and 'touch my finger then your nose' etc. and checked my ears, blood pressure, etc. She reckons it's an infection of the inner ear, which was one of the things I thought. She gave me something to try and get rid of the dizziness, so we'll see how that goes.

But all in all, I'm not the healthiest of people right now. I have a few things on my mind too, which aren't making things better. But in any case, I'll be fine. In the meantime, I present the current mixture of drugs to ye:

Stuck In The Middle Of Nowhere

2005-10-26T23:20:22Z

Stuck in the middle of nowhere,
not knowing which way to turn.
If I could only hold you now,
and undo the bridges I burned.

If I hadn't've left you standing there
to set my sail alone,
then maybe I'd be in your arms tonight
and have more than your memory to hold.

Stuck in the middle of nowhere,
not knowing which way to turn.
If I could only hold you now,
and undo the bridges I burned.

Well, I finally learned I'm lonesome.
Now I know what it means to yearn.
I found myself at the end of the line
and had no direction to turn.

Stuck in the middle of nowhere,
not knowing which way to turn.
If I could only hold you now,
and undo the bridges I burned.

Stuck in the middle of nowhere,
not knowing which way to turn.
If I could only hold you now,
and undo the bridges I burned.

atomicphreak @ 2005-10-23T00:14:00

2005-10-22T23:16:28Z

Thanks to Mike, I got to feast my eyes on these. Not sure Roswell happened? Reckon UFOs don't exist?

Hurricane Wilma - Archive

2005-10-19T21:04:24Z

Archive entry for Hurricane Wilma:

I nabbed a satellite photo from GOES-12 just after Wilma hit Florida:

Wilma hits Cuba as Florida braces:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4371480.stm

Havana 'waist-deep' in storm waters:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4374102.stm

Hurricane-hit Florida clears up:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4369674.stm

Hurricane Wilma: The areas affected:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4374762.stm